How do you cope with feelings of abandonment during important life events?

Many of us know that sinking feeling of abandonment, especially during important life events. Whether it’s a graduation, a wedding, or even just a birthday, the absence of those we wish could be there can hit hard. It’s like a shadow that creeps in, reminding us of the times we felt left behind. One thing that has helped me is creating my own support system. For those of us who’ve navigated the complexities of foster care, it can be tough to trust others or lean on them for support. But I found that reaching out to people who understand our shared experiences can be incredibly healing. Connecting with others who’ve faced similar feelings of abandonment during these events can make us feel less alone. Even if it’s just a quick chat about how we’re feeling, having that connection can bring a sense of comfort. Another approach some of us have tried is to carve out new traditions that honor our journey. For example, when I feel the weight of missing certain people during milestones, I’ve started to include a small ritual, like lighting a candle or writing a letter to those I wish could be around. It’s a way to acknowledge our feelings and keep those connections alive in our hearts, even if they’re not physically present. We can also lean on the power of self-compassion. Many of us have internalized feelings of unworthiness that stem from our experiences in foster care. During important moments, it can help to remind ourselves that we deserve joy and the celebration, even if it feels bittersweet. Treating ourselves with kindness—whether it’s through a favorite activity, a comforting meal, or a simple moment of quiet reflection—can remind us that we are enough, just as we are. Anyone else feeling this way during life events? I’d love to hear what you do to cope with those feelings of abandonment. Sometimes, just sharing our experiences makes all the difference.